What You Don’t Want From Life

As I've mentioned in previous posts, I've had a hard time defining what I want because my body and mind are often disconnected due to my struggles with mental health. In the past, when faced with a decision, I would freeze and not know what choice to make. This would lead to panic about not being able to make a decision, and nothing would get accomplished. I think this is a common experience for anxious people.

To overcome this indecisiveness and the feeling of passively living my life as a bystander, I've found a simple little life hack that helped me find some direction.

Step one: Instead of starting with a list of things you want from life, do something counterintuitive. Start with a list of everything that you hate. And I mean everything. Write down the small things, the big things, and everything in between. It doesn't only have to be hates, just dislikes. Write until you run out of things.

Step two: Write down everything you love. Use the same concept as in step one, filling the page and continuing to write until you run out of things to put down. Examples of things that could be included are simple pleasures like rays of sunshine and a hot cup of coffee in the morning, and experiences you love having, like being around art or laughing ‘til your stomach hurts.

Step three: Notice the commonalities between your lists. What are the differences? Do you see an overarching theme? Making connections between the two can help you define your life's trajectory more clearly. Even if you don't make any connection between the two lists, the simple act of writing these things out will bring them into your conscious awareness and ultimately give you a clearer idea of who you are as a person. This will help you shape the life you desire.

Having the knowledge of what you truly love and what you truly don't love about life will start to give you direction in how to conduct your life from this point forward. When you're faced with a decision, bring your lists to mind. Remember the small details and start saying no to what you don't want in your life, and yes to what you do. Be honest with yourself. Through this, your life will start to align in a more authentic way, and you'll see bigger changes over time. It worked as a really great starting point for me. Give it a try!